You Know You're
Drinking Too Much Coffee When...
You
have to watch videos in fast-forward to prevent boredom.
You
buy sugar by the barrel.
Kramer
of Seinfeld thinks you need to calm down.
Your
survival kit has a pound of coffee & a grinder.
You
don't sweat, you percolate.
Your
life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
When
someone say's "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last
drop".
Your
birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
You're
willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You
answer the door before people knock.
The
only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You
can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You
lick your coffeepot clean.
You're
so jittery that people use your hands to blend their milk shakes.
You
can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You
can jump-start your car without cables.
All
your kids are named "Joe".
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low".
You've
worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You
go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You've
built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."
Instant coffee takes too long.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
You don't tan - you roast and you don't get mad - you get steamed.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You want to reincarnate as a coffee mug.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
You buy milk by the barrel
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you
You have a breakdown over spilled milk
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
You want to be cremated when you die just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
The Coffee Chronicles Catalog of Chronicles